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The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement, a bonus of $1,000 for
every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The
officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a
bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured
from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly an old Master Chief who, when asked where he would
like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining
about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old
Master Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the
measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Master Chief to "drop'em," which
he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's
weenie and began to work back.
My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Master Chief calmly replied ... "Vietnam"
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